How Build in in Good Sex Life

[danil89002]

Life-changing growth. Those are big shoes for an article to fill. How would I know what that feels like? Well, let me explain.
In 2014 I was diagnosed with anorexia, orthorexia, and depression, in one therapy session. I’d been stuck in a relationship with an emotionally abusive ex who set a theme for the men I’d date for years after him. I was young, scared, and very lost.
In 2015, I fell into an even deeper mix of depression and my eating disorder. I checked into rehab and began a tough journey of learning how to merely get through each day.
And in 2018, I experienced my worst bout of depression yet and tried to take my own life. I felt numb, hopeless, and like I was destined for a life that felt tortured.
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Yet here I am. Very much alive. A lot closer to a steady stream of happiness than I ever have been. In a relationship with a loving man who respects and supports me. And a completely different person than who I was a year ago.
So how did I get from those years of tears, sadness, and dissatisfaction with my life to where I am now? A lot of hard work.
I changed my life because I decided that the way I was living wasn’t making me happy. I sought intense growth for myself because I knew I didn’t want to be controlled by my eating disorder and depression.
And as much as people paint personal growth as a golden path to happiness, you encounter a lot of feelings along the way that aren’t what you expect. But just because they don’t all feel good doesn’t mean you’re heading in the wrong direction.
The opposite, actually.
When you go through life-changing growth, you’ll experience several feelings that, if you can spot them, will help you know you’re on the right journey.
Fear
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“We all have a fear of the unknown. What one does with that fear will make all the difference in the world.”
— Lillian Russel
Aside from personal growth, there’s a lot that happens when you pursue big changes. People in your life will react to the shift, your understanding of the world will change, and your every day will be different.
The fact is, people are scared of risk. While you might feel like a certain path will lead you to a better life, you can’t be sure. And the idea that something might go wrong can paralyze even the most emotionally strong people.
But ignoring fear and pursuing growth means that you’re becoming a person who can overcome obstacles and go after what you want in life. Just beyond the fear is genuine growth that not many people can obtain.
Isolation
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When I began my journey to working through my depression and recovering from my eating disorder, I had to question a lot of what I believed about life. I couldn’t buy into how everyone else experienced life; I needed to find what made me uniquely happy.
What happened next was two-fold. I felt very lonely in my struggles. I didn’t feel comfortable talking to people about the pain I felt or the discoveries I made. Both felt so different, and, at the time, I wasn’t ready to stand out.
I also found it harder to relate to people who weren’t pursuing growth. I was accelerating forward into this world, where I had more control over my happiness. Meanwhile, a lot of my friends were stuck playing the victim of their life.
Since your growth is a task only you can undertake, it’ll feel lonely at times. But at other times, it’ll be the key to connecting with people in your life in ways you never did before.
Uncertainty
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“Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters won’t have a title until much later.”
— Bob Goff
Tim Ferris, podcaster and author of The 4-Hour Workweek, explains that people would rather be unhappy than uncertain because of how uncomfortable uncertainty is.
When we experience it, our brains want to feel certain again to feel a sense of normalcy. But with change, you’re going to experience prolonged uncertainty because the possibilities for your future grow far beyond what they were before.
To experience life-altering change, you have to do things you’ve never done. And you can never be sure where those choices will lead you.
Restlessness
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I found that personal growth is like tasting ice cream. Once you have one bit, you want more.
Your body and mind will race with thoughts about how your life can be different; that life doesn’t have to be as painful as it is now. It’ll feel uneasy, and you’ll experience a lot of emotions.
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You’ll feel stressed a lot of the time.
But the good thing about a mind and body that refuses to stay put until you achieve the change you know you want. That restlessness is a reminder that there’s more potential from your life that’s waiting for you.
Doubt
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Doubt has a long list of celebrity clients: Oprah, Stephen King, and John Lennon.
Even J.K. Rowling had 12 publishing companies reject Harry Potter, and it took her five years before she found one that accepted it. She struggled with depression and doubted herself throughout her journey.
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Doubt happens to people who don’t have things handed to them. But when it comes to personal growth, no amount of money can suddenly change things. It’s going to be hard for everyone who chooses it.
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It’s common to feel like you’re not sure of your capabilities; you feel insecure at times and would rather give up.
But when those moments of doubt come up, remember that all you need to do is outlast your mind’s tendency to trick you into thinking you can’t have the change you want.
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Discomfort
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”
— Neale Donald Walsch
If something isn’t challenging you, then it won’t change you. It’s as simple as that. And you know what feels uncomfortable? A challenge.
But like when you learned to ride a bike or studied tirelessly for an exam, growth involves sacrifice to achieve results that are beyond your emotional investment.
Between the fear, uncertainty, mental and emotional exhaustion, and doubt, you’re going to feel uncomfortable. But assure yourself that this discomfort is an indicator that you’re onto changes that will alter your life.
If you experience any of these feelings, don’t let them make you think you’re on the wrong path.
As long as you’re trying to better your life, learn more about yourself, and intuitively feel like you’re heading in the right direction, these feelings are merely a side-effect that won’t be around forever.
Instead of running away from these feelings, let them move through you. They’re an indicator you’re one step closer to life-changing growth.
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