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Original Title: Jersey Shore Shark Attack

Genge: Action,Adventure,Comedy,Horror,Sci-Fi,Thriller

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A cast of characters, strikingly similar to the cast of Jersey Shore, try to survive an epidemic of sharks attacking Miami Beach.
Despite my general dislike for SyFy movies, I did tune in to Jersey Shore Shark Attack to see how it would parody one of the biggest nadirs of any TV programme of recent times. I wouldn't say Jersey Shore Shark Attack is a great movie, but I find it more watchable and entertaining than the show. There are some saving graces, some decent scenery, the clever Jaws theme queue during Quint's speech, the brief performance of Joey Fatone and his death scene and the more than admirable performance of Jack Scaglia who has always come across as conscientious no matter how bad the film is. However, I can't say much about the rest of the cast. Paul Sorvino doesn't have that much to do and phones in his performance, while Tony Sirico and William Atherton's turns are not bad in performance but all too brief to make a bigger impression.

The Jersey Shore cast act in a very exaggerated fashion, and in the case of Vinny Guadagnino and the girl playing Snooki annoyingly so in alternative to hilariously. The sharks don't fare much better either sadly, their designs are some of the phoniest I've seen in any SyFy movie recently and they are not very menacing. They don't seem to move very naturally, I wasn't sure whether it was the fault of the editing, which was choppy, or the sharks themselves, but there seemed to be a lot of jumping around in their later scenes especially. The death scenes have been worse in previous movies definitely, but they're still rather predictable and lacking tension(Fatone's was the best one), and I was disappointed that the annoying characters weren't killed off.

Anybody expecting dumb, blatantly silly storytelling and logic being thrown out the window won't be disappointed in Jersey Shore Shark Attack. There are two instances involving the sharks where you do have to suspend disbelief, one where you are told that in order to kill a shark you shoot through its left eye as it's the eye of the devil, and another where you learn that a shark can be killed by being shot through its fin. And then there are sub-plots that are not only not that interesting but make the characters more unlikeable than they already are, such as the slobs vs. snobs subplot. It does deserve credit though that unlike other SyFy movies the pacing doesn't manage to be dull. The characters are deliberate caricatures certainly, but because the performances are so exaggerated and stereotypical I did find it hard to care for them.

In regard to the dialogue, that is also very corny that is full of Jersey-ese and supposedly tongue-in-cheek catchphrases, that depending on who you are may make you tear your hair out in irritation. I do agree that the basic tone of the film does feel like a genre movie rather than part of SyFy's output, though there is enough of SyFy's notorious trademarks(ie. the special effects) to remind us that it is actually SyFy. Overall, I didn't find Jersey Shore Shark Attack a great film by any stretch of the imagination, but I did find it entertaining, even if it is often stupid with annoying characters, blatant silliness in both the story and script and cheap effects. 4/10 Bethany Cox This was really, REALLY bad. I know Sci-Fi original movies aren't diamonds and I usually have a really good sense of humor with them, but this was just unforgivable. The sharks were the worst things I have ever seen even with an expected sh**** budget. Were they albino sharks? I don't care. Joey Fatone getting eaten was the highlight but too bad you saw that in the commercial. I think I mostly HATED this movie because *SPOILER ALERT* NONE of the Jersey Shore parody cast members got eaten. I was SOOOOO disappointed; I really wanted to see the "Snooki" character get eaten. At least just ONE of them BUT THEY ALL LIVED! Wasn't the whole point of the movie to see the Jersey Shore characters get torn apart by sharks?! Anyway, the movie sucked even though it was supposed to suck. Worst.

When their buddy John "JP" Pelligrini (Ben Giroux) disappears after being chased into the water by two Country Club preppies, Bradford (Grant Harvey) and Spencer (Dylan Vox), Guidos (Italian-Americans) Gino Giuseppe Santino "TC" Moretti (Jeremy Luke), Donnie (Joseph Russo), and Paulie Balzac (Daniel Booko) go down to the harbor to investigate and are surprised to find the water swarming with large albino bull sharks. They try to warn the town about the sharks, but no one, not even TC's father, Nick Moretti (Jack Scalia), a policeman for the Seaside Heights Police Department, believes them until famous singer Joey Fatone of N Sync is eaten alive during a performance on the beach. Jersey Shore Shark Attack was filmed from a screenplay by Michael Ciminera and Richard Glnofo, who built it around an MTV series Jersey Shore (2009) (2009-2012). The movie does make reference, however, to a true shark attack that took place along the New Jersey shore in 1916. Dolan Industries is building a new beach club and spa along the shoreline in Seaside Heights. Part of the construction consists of drilling holes in which to sink pylons and cement them in place. It is the drilling that that creates the vibrations which attract the sharks. "Guido" is a derogatory term for a stereotypical, usually Italian-American, macho male from New Jersey or Brooklyn, New York. Their characteristic wardrobe consists of tracksuits, earrings, gold chains, and gelled hair. When not at their low-paid jobs delivering pizzas, telemarketing, or construction, they can be located at their local gym tanning or lifting weights. The female counterpart is referred to as a "guidette." Many of the terms, such as paison, gumba, and cugine, are slang words with meanings similar to English pal or bro. A gumad refers to a man's mistress. Other terms refer to common Italian foods, such as gabagool (capicola ham), spuntini (baked meatballs), calzone (a folded pizza, turnover style), grappa (a grape-based Italian brandy), mojito (a cocktail made of rum, sugar, lime juice, mint, and sparkling water), and Pecorino Romano (a type of Italian cheese). At one point, Nooki exclaims, "Madonna Mia!", which translates as "My Lady", referring to the mother of Jesus. It is used as an exclamation of surprise or annoyance. Three other terms heard in the movie are: pazzo (wild), fazool (slang for "money"), and ugatz, which can be translated as a profanity, e.g., "shit" or "cock", implying something worthless, as when Nooki calls TC a "lying sack of steaming ugatz." TC and his cugines commandeer a police boat and go looking for Bradford's yacht. They find it sinking and surrounded by sharks. After killing several sharks, they evacuate the Preppie partiers, but Nooki is nowhere to be seen. TC searches the yacht and finds her in a flooding cabin with her foot stuck. He breaks her loose, fights off a shark, and they declare their love for each other, TC placing his gold chain around her neck. Meanwhile, sharks have begun attacking the Seaside Heights boardwalk, so the Guidos and Preppies return to fight them off, just in time for TC to save Nick, who has jumped in the water to save a stranded swimmer, by shooting a speargun into the shark's left eye. Realizing that the drill is attracting the sharks, TC turns it off. Everyone cheers as the sharks turn tail and head back out to sea. In the final scene, the seaside radio announcer (JoJo Wright) reports that the drill has been deactivated, the sharks have returned to open water, and all is quiet on the Jersey shore. Suddenly, a shark jumps out of the water and gobbles him up.

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